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Monday, April 9, 2012

Flash Fiction: Once Upon a Time


“Well it figures, doesn’t it? It just bloody well figures.”

Larry sighed as turned slowly in front of the mirror, trying to see himself from every angle. The jet black of the jacket set off the gold highlights in his wings, his hair was styled perfectly; he was one dapper looking fairy. He twisted his shoulders to look at the back of his ensemble.

“What was I thinking?”

He’d panicked, no ifs ands or buts. He’d panicked and now he’d be a laughingstock, and he really had no one to blame but himself.

It had happened yesterday when Susie Farnsworth, a centaur, had asked him if he was going to the senior prom. He’d said that of course he was going and then she’d uttered those five fateful words - “Save a dance for me”, before trotting off to advanced math class. A dance. Dancing. There would be dancing at the prom. Larry hadn’t the first clue how to dance.

He’d panicked. He’d cut out of school and headed downtown to one of the seedier districts where you could buy just about anything, and for cheap. Cheap was all Larry could afford. He’d bought a spell from a nasty old Hag that, she'd assured him, would teach him how to dance while he slept. Before bed he’d dutifully read the incantation and performed the gestures exactly as the Hag had described. He’d even managed to swallow the entire noisome potion that she’d given him for “extra potency”. And then he’d gone to bed.

If only he’d read the label he’d have known that the Hag had given him the wrong scroll.

When he’d woken up in the morning, there it had been, apparently happy to see him. He’d had to cut a hole in his trousers just to put them on. Now here he was, with his senior prom just two hours away. He still didn’t know how to dance and he looked ridiculous. Never mind the prom; he couldn’t even go out in public like this.

For goodness’ sake, who had ever heard of a fairy with a tail?

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My entry for the Once Upon a Time flash fiction contest over at Yearning for Wonderland. Exactly 350 words (point of pride, there). Just out of curiosity, did you see the tail coming, or were you thinking something else?

32 comments:

  1. Oh, very clever!! And people laugh when bottles say "take only as directed." A nice twist. Well done.

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    1. Thank you, thank you. I still figure you're the front runner in this though.

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  2. Most of us wanted to end up with a "piece of tail" at the end of our proms, but this fellow ended up with a "piece of tail" before the prom even started.
    Interesting story. Have a great week.

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    1. :) I thought about going that route, but they said "family friendly" in the contest rules and some people have pretty prudish families, so dancing it was.

      Thanks for the good week wishes, but I've got other plans. Taking the family to Canada in May and we've been teaching extra classes ahead of it to make sure the students get their full allotment. Nightmare.

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  3. Hahaha! Thank you for entering, Mike! :D

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    1. Well of course.. I can't resist me a contest.

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  4. Oh I love this, it was like Pretty in Pink for fantastical beasts :) Thanks for entering! x

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    1. Not sure the John Hughes comparison is entirely deserved, but I'll take it. :)

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  5. LOL when he cut that hole in his trousers I was wondering... (mind in the gutter). Great job, very funny!

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    1. Oh thank god someone finally caught that - I was starting to think I was losing my touch!:) And I thought I was hitting it too heavily with the "happy to see him" reference.

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  6. Lovely story, very entertaining. The tail was a great "ending".

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  7. Such a clever and funny story! I had a feeling that potion was going to cause some mischief for him! :)

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    1. :) Wouldn't be much of a story without some mischief.

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  8. A charming little comedy. Lovely and sweet :)

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  9. *snickers* Now *that's* defnitely an unexpected fairytale! Great stuff.

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  10. I accidentally saw the punchline before reading the story, but the misdirecting innuendo was pretty funny. :D

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it. I have to agree with your comments on your blog that the short word count makes it vastly more difficult to include the little wrinkles that make a story interesting.

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  11. Good heavens, I thought I left a comment about this days ago....made me laugh out loud, it did! Great vignette. Would like to see where this story goes next!

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    1. Thanks Angela, glad I could amuse. As to where it goes next...

      ...probably nowhere. This piece is more than a stone's throw away from my usual style, and was just a quick little one-off to see what I could come up with.

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  12. very nice indeed. I agree with the comments looking for what might happen next.

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    1. :) what happens next is entirely up to you. I'd imagine the tail probably comes in handy in resolving whatever crisis Larry encounters at the prom, though.

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  13. A very witty little tale, I'll resist the other spelling!
    I liked Susi's comment that "it was like Pretty in Pink for fantastical beasts", one of my favourite 80s films.
    The stories in this competition are so varied, your's fitted in the laughing out loud catergory - thanks! :-)

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    1. Thanks much for the kind words. Yours fell into the "makes me sad" category, but it's the good sad. I think I'm going to go watch "The Princess Bride" again.

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  14. Kept you intrigued until the end, then left you laughing. Well done.

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  15. I'm all smiles over this story. =D

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  16. Mike--you commented on my story yesterday and I came over to check out yours, and then realized...You! You were the one who wrote the fantastic and hilarious centaur meets fairy prom story! I read this about a week ago and it's one of the pieces that has stuck in my mind. Nicely done! Thanks for sharing a great tale...of tail. :)

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  17. That really was an unexpected fairy "tail". Nice one! :)

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  18. I laughed at the twist in the tail! And thanks for your comments on my story.

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  19. everything about this in interesting! No, I never imagined a tail...I like the twist!!
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

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